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I thought you might enjoy a smile with your coffee this morning. Cindy Denning, MLS Once and future librarian Collinsville, TX cynden744@aol.com > >The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which > >they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The > >following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest: > > > >1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. > > > >2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. > > > >3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. > > > >4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. > > > >5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. > > > >6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly > >answer the door in your nightie. > > > >7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. > > > >8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. > > > >9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you > >are run over by a steamroller. > > > >10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. > > > >11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. > > > >12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a > >proctologist immediately before he examines you. > > > >13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish > >expressions. > > > >14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. > > > >15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul > >goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. > > > >16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=- All LM_NET postings are protected by copyright law. To change your LM_NET status, e-mail to: listserv@listserv.syr.edu In the message write EITHER: 1) SIGNOFF LM_NET 2) SET LM_NET NOMAIL 3) SET LM_NET MAIL 4) SET LM_NET DIGEST * Allow for confirmation. LM_NET Help & Information: http://ericir.syr.edu/lm_net/ Archive: http://askeric.org/Virtual/Listserv_Archives/LM_NET.shtml LM_NET Select/EL-Announce: http://www.cuenet.com/archive/el-announce/ LM_NET Supporters: http://ericir.syr.edu/lm_net/ven.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-