[LM_NET] More on Internet fear-mongering

[Nancy Willard <nwillard@CSRIU.ORG>]

In case you are unable to assess this, I am on a new mission. So, ok, pretty
obvious, eh? ;-)
 
I just wrote the following for a newsletter for my Internet service
provider. I AM going to get my blog up and going soon. I promise. I have
been overwhelmed with some recent travel and the presentations I am trying
to put together. 

I use a regional service for my web sites. They are hosting me for a parent
workshop. This is the article that will go out in their newsletter. I am
sending it to you so you all can pick up some facts and language to use in
response to the irresponsible fear-mongering.

Internet Safety: Delete ³Fear Mongering² ­ Insert ³Education and Parenting²

° One in seven young people have been sexually solicited online!

° More than half did not tell anyone!

° Social networking sites are a breeding ground for sexual predators.
Predators have tracked down their victims based on the personal information
they post online to abduct and rape them.

What do these statements all have in common? They are exaggerations and
mistruths. They are Internet fear-mongering. And statements like this are
undermining efforts to address the actual risks young people face online.

Letıs talk about the facts. There is a study that demonstrated that one in
seven young people have been sexually solicited online. But acts that were
considered to be ³sexual solicitation² included unwanted sexual
communications ­ sexual harassment. Four of five teens report being sexually
harassed at high school.

Of the more than half that did not tell anyone, 69% said they did not tell
anyone because it ³was not serious enough.² The others indicated that they
were afraid or thought they might get into trouble. But the young people
also reported excellent skills in responding to such communications,
including blocking the person, leaving the situation, telling the person to
leave them alone, or ignoring the person.

Neither I, nor other researchers I have contacted in this field, have found
one documented case where a predator tracked down a victim based on personal
information posted online and abducted that victim. The one research study
that evaluated the incidents leading to arrest of online sexual predators
revealed that the teens willingly went to meet with these people, knowing
they were adults and knowing they were going to engage in sex. It is clear
that some were groomed. But it also appears that some teens are seeking such
relationships. 

The biggest problem with the current Internet fear-mongering is that many
teens think adults have ³gone off the deep-end² in relation to Internet
concerns. As a result, they are less likely to listen to legitimate safety
guidance and are less willing to report legitimate concerns to an adult.
This is very problematic because while the above statements are
exaggerations and mistruths, young people may be harmed by others online and
some young people are making unsafe or irresponsible choices that result in
harm to themselves or others.

It is important to keep Internet risks in perspective. Our children face
risks in the ³real world² - sharp knives, speeding cars, bullies, weirdos at
the park, pressure to engage in sex, drug pushers, and many more. Sometimes
they simply do not make good choices.

When children are young, we keep them in safe places and teach them simple
safety rules. As they grow, we provide them with the knowledge, skills, and
values to independently make good choices - and we remain ³hands-on² to
ensure they do.

Keeping children and teens safe online requires applying effective real
world parenting skills to cyberspace. When children are young, they do not
have the cognitive development or experience necessary to keep themselves
safe online. Parents must establish a safe online environment and provide
simple, easy to follow guidelines.

As children grow and their online activities expand, it is necessary to make
sure they know how to independently make good choices. They need to know
what the risks are. They must know how to avoid getting involved in a risky
online situation, how to detect if they are at risk, and how to respond
effectively, including when to ask for help.

They also must know the importance of engaging in responsible, ethical
behavior. They must understand that it is important to keep themselves from
harm, not cause harm to someone else, and make sure their friends are safe.

Parents must pay attention to what their children are doing online. Young
people are the ³natives² in this new online world. We adults are the
³immigrants.² Many young people donıt tell adults about Internet concerns
because they fear that adults will overreact, blame them, not know what to
do, do something that will make things worse, and/or restrict their online
access. It is essential to establish a trusting relationship and work in
partnership with your child related to Internet activities.

Most young people are having fun and engaged in healthy interactions with
others online. Internet risks and concerns can be effectively managed
through education and parental attention. Parents do need to have a greater
understanding of the real risks and concerns so that they can remain engaged
in their childrenıs online lives and guide their online activities
effectively. 

Nancy
-- 
Nancy Willard, M.S., J.D.
Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
http://csriu.org
http://cyberbully.org
http://cyber-safe-kids.com
nwillard@csriu.org

Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding to the Challenge of Online Social
Aggression, Threats, and Distress (Research Press)

Cyber-Safe Kids, Cyber-Savvy Teens: Helping Young People Learn to Use the
Internet Safely and Responsibly (Jossey-Bass)

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