> Nancy - To a degree I agree with your message of promoting or
> encouraging children's use of Web 2.0 technologies as this obviously
> will serve them well throughout their educational and career lives.
> However, a bit of healthy caution IS warranted. Do you have children?
Funny you should ask - today. I am a single mom - by choice. My oldest son
turned 18 at 11:29 today. I also have a 16YO daughter and an 11 YO son. (I
will be 60 when my youngest graduates from middle school - he was adopted
from India.)
> Would you parade your three year old around the mall with a shirt that
> says "My name is Jenny Vale. I am 3 and I like horses." If not, why
> not? Would you let your 12 year old hang out in a pool hall? Would
> you let your high school sophomore go to NYC to meet someone alone?
> How about holding up a large poster that says I'm Jenny Vale (999)
> 555-1212 at a WWE event? Why not? And what reason would you give them
> for NOT doing those things? Because I believe there ARE people out
> there who DO prey on children.
Yes, and the overwhelming majority of the adults who prey on youth are
family members, mom's latest boyfriend, ministers, coaches - and oh by the
way, teachers. In fact based on some data I have seen there are
appropriately the same number of teens who are seduced by school staff as by
online strangers. So maybe we also ought not let them come to school - not
to mention family reunions, church, youth groups, or play on teams.
My entire approach to addressing these issues is the same as the approach I
have taken to raising my children. When they are young, it is important to
keep them in fenced play yards. But I certainly do not keep any of my kids
in fenced play yards now. My oldest two are quite able to take a bus to the
mall. Youngest - no way.
The time I paid the closest to what my kids were posting online is when they
started using social networking sites. Because this is the time that it is
really important to stress that they simply do not need to let the whole
world know who they are and what they are doing.
Just because most online predators
> seduce instead of "trick" teenagers doesn't make them any less
> predatory. Teens are still children, not fully mature adults, and it's
> illegal to engage in sexual behavior with them.
Let me tell you a story about my daughter. Last summer, she and an ex-friend
(fortunately) were at a bus stop. A car with some young adult males drove up
and they said, "Hey girls. Do you want to go for a ride?" My daughter's
ex-friend responded, "Yeah, that sounds like fun (which is why she is now
"ex"). My daughter whipped out her cell phone and said, "<expletive deleted,
no. and if you don't get the <expletive deleted out of here, I'm calling
911."
Let me tell you about my son. He just told me that someone at school told
him that a highly sexualized girl has been telling people that she would
love to have hot sex with him. Fortunately, he does not appear to be all
that interested. I had a quick conversation about the risks of STDs with
these kinds of partners. (Note, my 18 YO feels comfortable talking about
this with me.)
It is exceptionally important that we make sure they understand the risks
and know how to detect if they are at risk and respond correctly.
> No, we shouldn't make children so fearful of surfing the web that they
> never want to google or play an online game but advising them not to
> share personal information such as their address and phone number in a
> chat room is responsible and makes sense.
Fortunately, most teens are now avoiding chat rooms. Social networking sites
are SO much safer. And most actually prefer to limit access to people who
they know - or a friend knows.
I also tell young people not to provide this kind of information publicly.
But I do not tie this guidance to a threat that some predator is then going
to track them down and abduct them. Neither I, nor Crimes Against Children
Research Center, nor several other Internet safety folks who specifically
looked have EVER been able to find one news article on this kind of
abduction.
Actually, the people ho hope that teens will post address and phone number
are the market researcher "predators" the ones who are creating market
interest databases. All of those personality quizzes are techniques to get
teens to tell all about themselves so that advertisers can target them with
advertising. There is one personality quiz site that indicated that if teens
provide their phone number, this is giving the site permission to use that,
and sell that to others to send SMS advertising. Quite frankly, the guidance
not to post your phone number online because some advertiser is going to
harvest it and start clogging your cell phone with ads is likely to be far
more compelling to curb this behavior.
> What I found when I looked at the Crimes Against Children Research
> Center website was that "reliable information on the scope and nature
> of the online predator problem remains scarce." To me that means that
> we don't know the extent of the problem - not that the problem doesn't
> exist.
I have never said the problem of online sexual exploitation does not exist.
What I have said is that we have to present accurate information about it.
And the concerns of adult predators, I believe, pales in comparison to older
teens who are seducing sexual partners or seeking such partners.
Unfortunately, the teens who are most likely to need this information are
also the ones least likely to pay attention or follow our guidance. So I
recommend with high school students, teachers strive to have students
discuss these issues in small, then large group discussions - with teacher
as guide by the side.
And when you are presenting information on the risks of sexual predators, it
is likely best to phrase this in the context of the overwhelming majority of
teens are smart enough to recognize creeps if they happen to cross their
path. But that sometimes teens make mistakes. So if they ever think that a
friend might be making a mistake they should discuss their concerns with
their friend - or tell an adult. This way, you can get the accurate
information across without them rejecting you - because they know they do
not intend to go hook up with a creep. But they do know that sometimes their
peers make bad choices.
It is SO hard to talk about this in a balanced manner. There are risks. We
have to provide accurate information about the risks - along with practical
strategies to avoid getting into a risky situation, detect if they are, and
respond, including when they should tell an adult.
But the idea that some online stranger is going to track them down and
abduct them based on personal contact information they post online is simply
unfounded.
Thanks for letting me expound. :-)
Nancy
--
Nancy Willard, M.S., J.D.
Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
http://csriu.org
http://cyberbully.org
http://cyber-safe-kids.com
http://csriu.wordpress.com
nwillard@csriu.org
Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding to the Challenge of Online Social
Aggression, Threats, and Distress (Research Press)
Cyber-Safe Kids, Cyber-Savvy Teens: Helping Young People Learn to Use the
Internet Safely and Responsibly (Jossey-Bass)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Please note: All LM_NET postings are protected by copyright law.
You can prevent most e-mail filters from deleting LM_NET postings
by adding LM_NET@LISTSERV.SYR.EDU to your e-mail address book.
To change your LM_NET status, you send a message to: listserv@listserv.syr.edu
In the message write EITHER:
1) SIGNOFF LM_NET
2) SET LM_NET NOMAIL
3) SET LM_NET MAIL
4) SET LM_NET DIGEST
* LM_NET Help & Information: http://lmnet.wordpress.com/
* LM_NET Archive: http://www.eduref.org/lm_net/archive/
* EL-Announce with LM_NET Select: http://lm-net.info/join.html
* LM_NET Supporters: http://lmnet.wordpress.com/category/links/el-announce/
--------------------------------------------------------------------
LM_NET
Mailing List Home