Just for fun (fwd)

[Debbie Abilock <debbie@NUEVA.PVT.K12.CA.US>]

For those of you interested in political irreverence...

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Debbie Abilock              "It is important that students bring a certain
The Nueva School            ragamuffin barefoot irreverence to their studies;
6565 Skyline Blvd.          they are not here to worship what is known,
Hillsborough, CA 94010      but to question it."  (Jacob Bronowski)
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 1995 12:24:18 -0600
From: Jeffrey Weiss <jmweiss@ix.netcom.com>
To: civic-values@civic.net
Subject: Just for fun

 By Jeffrey Weiss
 Staff Writer  of The Dallas Morning News
   The World Wide Web may still be a mystery to the computer
illiterati. But even those who don't know the Infobahn from a bon bon
can understand a political pratfall.
      Consider Democratic presidential candidate Pat Paulsen's take on
the issues:
      ``HEALTH CARE... I Don't Think We Need to Care for Healthy
People. GUN CONTROL... I Can't Control My Car, Let Alone My Gun.''
      Details of Mr. Paulsen's latest campaign -- he has been running
since he was a featured comic on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in
1967 -- can be found on-line. He shares the Internet with satiric jibes
by a 16-year-old California cartoonist, song parodies by a comedy
troupe in Washington and anonymous screeds from who knows where.
      Material that would have only cracked up the crowd around the
water cooler -- or offended a small circle of acquaintances  -- now gets
an instant international airing on the Internet.
      Lots of it isn't very funny. Satire isn't easy to execute, as
anyone who has endured recent seasons of Saturday Night Live  can
attest. But some of it is startling or clever in the ways that Juvenal
or Swift probably would have appreciated.
      The level of sophistication, to be kind, varies wildly:
      On the Exploding Head Page, a morphed series of photographs of
Sen. Bob Dole, Rush Limbaugh, Microsoft owner Bill Gates and Russian
President Boris Yeltzin show their heads, well, exploding.
      Satire has historically been used to puncture stuffed shirts. Why
not swelled heads?
      ``That's the beauty of the Internet,'' says Dan Burford, the
computer illustrator behind the page. ``Anybody who has these kinds of
wacky thoughts about anything can just put it out there. You don't need
corporate sponsorship. You don't need to buy air time.''
      And then there's the elegant control of language on display at
the Editorial Haiku page:
      Hurray for Bob Dole!
      He had his Colin removed,
      now feels much better.
        By John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@hr.house.gov, it says below the poem.
      The World Wide Web offers sounds and animation in addition to
text and graphics.
   Little more than a year ago, political information on-line was
limited to cyber-savvy Libertarians and a few young, politically astute
computer experts. But now candidates for offices ranging from the
president of the United States to the mayor of Baltimore have embraced
the new technology with so-called ``home pages'' where the on-line
universe can drop in for campaign information.
      For political organizers, the Internet offers cheap,
instantaneous communication anywhere a phone line runs. For political
humorists, it offers the same thing.
      Fake campaign home pages, looking much like the real things,
exist for Mr. Dole, President Clinton Colin Powell and others. But
plenty of free-form satire is out there, unlinked to any particular
political figure or party.
      One home page belongs to ``Political Gridlock.'' It's a site that
hawks political caricatures on T-shirts: President Clinton painted in
the garish colors of Ronald McDonald with the caption ``McPresident.
Billions and Billions of Taxes Served.'' Or Oliver North covered with
the colors of the American Flag and the caption ``Another Felon for the
Senate.''
      The artist, a Californian named Jon-Paul Bail, provides an
on-line analysis of the Internet that speaks for many cyber-satirists:
   ``I always hear artists wondering how to get their art out of the
coffee houses, out of the bushou art galleries and to their real
audiences. This is the first time, for $3,000 [the cost of a computer], an
artist who is a nobody in the art world has access to millions of people.''

      Russell Hirshon is an only-in-DC combination: a computer
programmer by day, bartender by night and political satirist when he
feels like it. His ``Russell Hirshon for President'' home page proffers
his motto:
      ``If you want to get screwed, elect a politician. If you want to
get served, elect a bartender.''
      His platform includes a call to put C-Span into some of the bars
of Capitol Hill ``So we can get a real look at our senators in
action.'' And to ``have women American Gladiators go up against House
Republicans.''
      Four years ago, he took his faux candidacy to New Hampshire and
to the Republican Presidential convention in Houston. Not only is the
Internet cheaper (and given New Hampshire winters, more comfortable)
but Mr. Hirshon says he believes that more people are reading his
material than when he enthroned himself on a commode near the Astrodome 3
1/2 years ago.
      ``People are scared, and sometimes for a good reason, by some of
the alternative candidates,'' he says. ``On the Internet, they can see
what they want to see and then click off.''
   Material that once traveled from one office bulletin board to
another via the post office or fax machine now ripples across the world
at the speed of electronic mail.
      At least two takeoffs on the beloved Dr. Seuss classic ``How the
Grinch Stole Christmas'' have been downloaded thousands of times
over the past few weeks.
      One starts:
      ``Every Rep down in Congress liked Clinton somewhat,
      Except for the Gingrinch, who simply did NOT!
      He hated Bill Clinton! He hated his wife!
      He vowed to torment them the rest of his life!''
        Another begins:
     ``Every Who
      Down in Whoville
      Liked Elections a lot...
      But Newt Gingrich,
      Who lived on Mount Gridlock,
       Did NOT!''
        Every part of the political spectrum comes under attack on-line.
Several  ``politically correct'' versions of "A Visit from St. Nicholas''
  flowed through the same phone lines where the Speaker of the House was
getting a Seussian barbecue.
      ``Twas the night before solstice and all through the co-op
      Not a creature was messing the calm status quo-op.
      The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
      Dreaming of lentils and warm whole-grain breads.''
        Santa endures criticism of his toys, his fur-trimmed suit and his
``oppression'' of his eves and reindeer before departing with a
stinging: ``Happy Christmas to all, but get over yourselves.''
  An abortion opponent offers an essay on a religious issues home page:
"Let's Legalize the Murder of Wives,'' credited to one Jim McNeish.
      Audacity unites sites with far distant political philosophies. On
the Fidel '96 page, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro is touted for the
American presidency as ``The Ultimate Washington Outsider.''
      ``Fidel is the only major candidate with a truly workable plan
for balancing the budget: nationalize the debt, raise corporate taxes
and turn Orange County [Calif.] into a big cooperative citrus farm.''
      Fidel page Creator Adam Reith is so comfortable on-line that he
would only consent to an e-mail interview.
     The Net, he says, is the only way a 26-year-old computer
programmer could have reached a worldwide audience. Member of the
``Fidel Team'' have joined from Italy, Japan, Australia and nearly
every state in the Union.
      ``I could never afford to have my message reach hundreds of
thousands of people for $10 a month in traditional media,'' he says.
``Even classified ads are more expensive than that. Now all I need is
an AOL [America OnLine] account and a dirty picture of Pamela Anderson and
I'm the next Rupert Murdoch.''
      Gabe Martin is passing on the skin pix in his bid for fame and
fortune. Gabe, 16, from San Diego, has been putting his cartoons on the
Internet daily for more than a year. Most are apolitical. But a monthly
Jay Leno-like commentary on news headlines wanders into political
satire:
      ``Senate Balks at Flag-Protection Amendment,'' reads the real
headline.
      ``Assignment of Secret Service Agents Thought Too Excessive,''
Gabe comments.
      ``I'm not really trying to change the world,'' Gabe says.
``Basically, it's a free country. I can express my opinion.''
      Of course, there's the question of whether Gabe or the other
on-line satirists could change the world if they wanted to. Most of the
world -- or even the United States -- is still not set up for 'Net surfing.
      Surveys of the on-line population vary wildly from a few million
to tens of millions of people. And counters that log the number of
times a page has been visited don't say how many hits are repeats or
how much of the material is examined by any single visitor.
      Regardless of the uncertainty, a few sites have been set up by
people or companies who think sooner or later they'll be able to make
money by providing political humor on line.
      A site that sits on the cutting edge of Internet technology
belongs to ``Soundbites,'' a New York based team that has supplied
``audio editorial cartoons'' to National Public Radio for more than
three years.
      Soundbites has a site on the Internet and another on America
OnLine. Both offer the chance to download mini-radio dramas that poke
fun at issues of the day. One recent performance tweaked the new Texas
concealed handgun law. One character asks another:
      ``So, cowboy. Is that a gun in our pocket or are you just glad to
be a Texan?''
      Soundbites writer George Wilson knows that profits from the
Internet might appear in the future, if at all. In the meantime,
Soundbites is paid a royalty for the 50,000 visitors who spend time on
the Soundbites AOL site each month. And Mr. Wilson works on quickly
putting out consistently funny material.
      Just as is the case in any other medium, quality humor will be
the key to success, he says.
      ``We are constantly reassured that content is king,'' he says.
``The technology is interesting only insofar as it can deliver
content.''
      You want content? Hoo boy, have we got content! Like the home
page set up by supporters of Miami Herald  humor columnist Dave Barry's
run for the White House. ``A New Bag for Our Leadership Vacuum! It's
Time We Demanded Less!.''
      A proposed platform plank by one supporter, and we're not making
this up: ``Official Booger Joke-of-the-day e-mail distribution list
will be created for all U.S. citizens with Internet access.''
     Taste and subtlety have never been necessary ingredients in
political satire, says Mr. Bail, the California T-shirt caricaturist.
   ``To make fun of the system is to keep the system healthy,'' he
says. ``You have to make people laugh before you can get them to open
their minds.''
Staff writer Jeffrey Weiss will be covering on-line politics through the
1996 election. He can be reached on-line at:
   Internet: jmweiss@ix.netcom.com
   Compuserve: 75702,311
   America Online: JeffMWeiss
   Prodigy: ZDPT05A


WHERE TO GO
  Borderline Netazine:
  http://www.cts.com/~borderln/
  Christian Resource Network On-Line Library (Abortion issues):
  http://bbs.cresnet.org  ibrary/issues/abort
  Conservatively Incorrect:
  http://turnpike.net/emporium/H/HR/index.htm
  Dave Barry for President:
  http://www.wam.umd.edu/~meercat/Dave_Barry_96
  The Exploding Head Page:
  http://www.vv.com/~gilmore/head/
  The Electronic Bunker/Conspiracy On Line:
  http://rainbow.rmii.com/~tph/bunker.html
  Fake Clinton pages:
  http://www.clinton96.org/
http://www.gridlock.com/grid/artwork  eft/01.left.html
  Fake Colin Powell for President page:
  http://www.powell96.org/
  Fidel '96 page:
  http://www.slugs.com/imagesmith/fidel/fidel.html
  Pat Paulsen for President pages:
  http://www.amdest.com  at  at.html
http://www.iu.net  aulsen/
  Russell Hirshon for President:
  http://www.magnet.com/russ4pres/
  Editorial Haiku:
  http://www.naic.edu:80/~jcho/editorial/ehp.html
  Political Gridlock:
  http://www.gridlock.com/grid/home.html
  Soundbites: News, Satire & Comedy:
  http://www.soundbites.com/index.html
On America Online, use keyword: soundbites


Jeffrey Weiss
jmweiss@ix.netcom.com

The Dallas Morning News
214-977-8738