Re: Epitaphs

[Suzanne Cane <prlst012@LLWSBE.WSBE.ORG>]

There are a few funny epitaphs for the elementary level sense of humor in
Scott Corbetts _Jokes to Read in the Dark_, E.P. Dutton,  1980.

Here's a sample:

        Here lies the body of Winifred Wexpert,
        Wrongly self-styled mushroom expert.

        Here lies the body of Samuel Smith
        What was that stuff he was fooling with?

        Here lies the body of Fearsome Frank,
        Who often bet he could rob any bank,
        And bragged he had never lost a bet
                Yet.

        Here lies the body of Wilfred White
        His bulletproof vest wasn't quite.

        Here lies the body of Kermit Smoot
        He almost learned to parachute.

        Here lies the body of Jeffrey Squattum
        In skin-diving class he came out at the bottom.

        Here lies the body of Mortimer Gissing:
        His famous last words:  I hear something hissing!   (accompanied by
a picture of a rattlesnake)

This one's not an epitaph, but it's a good one for Halloween:

        Dracula and I were boyhood friends.  I knew him when he was just a
little nipper.

--Suzanne

--
Suzanne Cane
Lincoln School
Providence, Rhode Island 02906
e-mail:  prLst012@LLwsbe.wsbe.org   voice: 401 331-9696  fax: 401 751-6670