HUMOR: personnel evaluations

[Alice Yucht <AliceInfo@AOL.COM>]

From an "over the pond" cyber-source:

The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The following
are actual excerpts from various reports:

-  His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
-  I would not breed from this Officer.
-  This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely
won't-be.
-  When she opens her mouth, it seems only to change whichever foot was
previously in there.
-  He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.
-  He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
- Technically sound, but socially impossible.
-  This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope  always spinning around
 at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
-  This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
-  When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then
he has aged considerably.
-  This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to
port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
-  Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
-  She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them
-  He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
-  This Officer should go far  and the sooner he starts, the better.
- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
-  The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
-  Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap.
-  This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
 -  Only occasionally wets himself under pressure.