GEN: Techi Definitions

[Juvenile Justice Center School <juvjusti@ICANECT.NET>]

My husband just forwarded these to me.  Author unknown.  They're wonderful.

DEFINITIONS

Link Rot
 The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as
  the sites they're connected to change location or die.

Chip Jewelry
  A euphanism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned
  into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE,
  and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."

Crapplet
  A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted
  30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"

Plug-and-Play
  A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is
  great. He's totally plug-and-play."

World Wide Wait
  The real meaning of WWW

Dorito Syndrome
  Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive
  substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours
  surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito
  Syndrome."

404
  Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message
  "404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried
  to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404,
  man."

Dead Tree Edition
  The paper version of a publication available in both paper and
  electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San
  Francisco Chronicle..."

Egosurfing
  Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers
  looking for the mention of your name.

Graybar Land
  The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's
  processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar
  creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed
  like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."

Cobweb Site
  A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time.
  A dead web page.

It's a Feature
  From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically
  to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.

Keyboard Plaque
  The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
  keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has
  a bad case of keyboard plaque."

Adminisphere
  The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank
  and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
  profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
  designed to solve.

Tourists
  People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from
  their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the
  rest were tourists."

Blowing Your Buffer
  Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are
  speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just
  said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn,
  I just blew my buffer!"

Beepilepsy
  The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go
  off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical
  spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in
  mid-sentence.

Salmon Day
  The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
  only to get screwed in the end.
--
Internet Communications of America, Inc.