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sesl@aol.com,zevensen@lausd.k12.ca.us,jolivare@lausd.k12.ca.us,tweatyboyd@aol.com,sma1066@aol.com,mhmcnutt@aol.com , meaton@muse.sfusd.k12.ca.us Subject: Gen: Farewell from the Valley Girl Cc: Electra Reply-To: ab189@lafn.org Doubletakers: From a 1958 7th-grade composition: If I had a million dollars, I would buy my mother a Catolic. Librarian: What scientific innovation was Einstein known for? 8th-grader: I think it was the light bulb. 8th-grader's buddy (elbowing him in the ribs): No, Stupid. That was Thomas Jefferson! 1980 Parents' certificate to librarian: For being the FAULTY representative to the P.T.A. 1984 (Pre-Jurassic Park) high school art student: Do you have any books of photographs of dinosaurs? Librarian (laughing hysterically and rolling on the floor): Kid, not only were there no cameras in those days, there weren't any people! The next month *Time Exposure, A Photographic Record of Dinosaurs* was published. Puzzled student: Where is your autobiology section? 1988 Electra OPAC: Captain Horatio Hornflower, Daily Life in the Time of Ancient Greed 1997 senior girl: I can't find anything about Walt Disney. Librarian (patiently waiting for light bulb to go on): When you look someone's name up in the phone book, which name do you use? Senior girl: You mean Walt Disney's a person? It's time to go. In conclusion, here are a few verses from Librarian's Lament, ca. 1980. I've learned to say libro and biblioteca, Spanish and Vietnamese. I'm gonna learn Farsi and Thai, what the heck, a librarian likes to please. I've gone into splicing and videotaping, At media I've done my stint But I have a question that there's no escaping, Whatever happened to print? Done in by Jarvis, TV, and busing, I fear, still I'm here So if they starve us, and kick us out on our ear, or our rear, Goodbye to Booklist's Choicest picks, We'll read Variety's latest shticks, Book'd as the Shut Trapp Singers, shh!, Come and hear! The job has been totally awesome, fer sure, fer sure. As of June 23, former librarian of the former home of the Valley Girl. -- Lois Feldman Birmingham High School: ab189@lafn.org 17000 Haynes St. Fax:(818) 342-5877 Van Nuys, CA 91406