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sesl@aol.com,zevensen@lausd.k12.ca.us,jolivare@lausd.k12.ca.us,tweatyboyd@aol.com,sma1066@aol.com,mhmcnutt@aol.com
 , meaton@muse.sfusd.k12.ca.us
Subject: Gen: Farewell from the Valley Girl
Cc: Electra
Reply-To: ab189@lafn.org
Doubletakers:
From a 1958 7th-grade composition:  If I had a million dollars,
   I would buy my mother a Catolic.

Librarian:  What scientific innovation was Einstein known for?
8th-grader:  I think it was the light bulb.
8th-grader's buddy (elbowing him in the ribs):  No, Stupid. That
   was Thomas Jefferson!

1980 Parents' certificate to librarian: For being the FAULTY
   representative to the P.T.A.

1984 (Pre-Jurassic Park) high school art student:  Do you have any
   books of photographs of dinosaurs?
Librarian (laughing hysterically and rolling on the floor):  Kid,
   not only were there no cameras in those days, there weren't any
   people!
   The next month *Time Exposure, A Photographic Record of Dinosaurs*
   was published.

Puzzled student:  Where is your autobiology section?

1988 Electra OPAC:  Captain Horatio Hornflower, Daily Life in the Time
   of Ancient Greed

1997 senior girl:  I can't find anything about Walt Disney.
Librarian (patiently waiting for light bulb to go on):  When you look
   someone's name up in the phone book, which name do you use?
Senior girl:  You mean Walt Disney's a person?

    It's time to go.  In conclusion, here are a few verses from
Librarian's Lament, ca. 1980.

I've learned to say libro and biblioteca, Spanish and Vietnamese.
I'm gonna learn Farsi and Thai, what the heck, a librarian likes to
    please.
I've gone into splicing and videotaping, At media I've done my stint
But I have a question that there's no escaping,
Whatever happened to print?

Done in by Jarvis, TV, and busing, I fear, still I'm here
So if they starve us, and kick us out on our ear, or our rear,
Goodbye to Booklist's Choicest picks,
We'll read Variety's latest shticks,
Book'd as the Shut Trapp Singers, shh!, Come and hear!

The job has been totally awesome, fer sure, fer sure.

        As of June 23, former librarian of the former home
        of the Valley Girl.

--
                                        Lois Feldman
Birmingham High School:                 ab189@lafn.org
17000 Haynes St.                        Fax:(818) 342-5877
Van Nuys, CA 91406


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