HIT nasty e-mail pt.3

[lsh <lsh@MONTANA.COM>]

   I know how unpleasant it is to get a hateful message.  Don't blame
yourself for this--remember, students have been making anonymous phone calls
to annoy teachers for a long, long time.  Rules are a way of enabling a
large number of people--students and teachers--to work together smoothly.
Some students don't buy this, but you are a better judge of how the library
and computers should be used than they are.
   Yes, I've had experience with a few "arrogant young computer gurus."
Ours don't think rules apply to them. I received a nasty e-mail message
recently, and though identity of the sender could not be proven, another
teacher gave me a very short list of students who'd been using the computer
from which the message was sent.
    I'm short on suggestions for dealing with your student.  I hope the
meetings your principal set up are for the purpose of receiving the
student's heartfelt apology.
    BTW, after several instances of student misuse of the Internet and
e-mail, our principal drastically cut down on student access to both.  A
student must bring a note from his/her teacher stating exactly what he/she
needs to research.  No surfing, no lyrics to rock songs, no sports scores,
no e-mail to pals.



Julie :  I've been teacher-librarian for some 28 years now, so take heart.
And listen up.  There will be always some children that are so angry or so
immature who will vent their frustrations on whatever person comes in handy.
Apparently, you're the target-of-the-moment, for whatever reason.  From your
response, I suggest that the student has found that he/she can get a
reaction from you and it is this that gives him/her a sense of empowerment.
The first thing to do is to take a coffee break, put your feet up, and take
a few minutes in the Staff Room to vent your frustrations  to a colleague.
Do it only once!  Then, after you have shown the note to your
Administration, telephone the child's parents to come in to talk with you.
Most parents will appreciate your concern and knowing what their child has
done.  Most will appreciate your attempts to help their child.  Then let
them deal with it, for it usually is symptomatic of a larger problem.
Suggest, however, that the student should apologize to you.  Now, forget it.
You may wish to twist the kid's head off, but if you treat him/her as you
would ANY OTHER student, you show maturity.... and frustrate the Heck out of
the kid because he'd didn't get the empowerment he expected. If he
apologizes, accept it sincerely and don't preach.  That gives him the upper
hand again.  You might just find that, in a year or two, this one will find
you were the best person ever to have been encountered in his young life.


There are many sites on computer use
and ethics - copyright issues - nettiquite - I'd have the student be
researching and writing a policy that deals with those issues.  (Similar to
an AUP, but more of a "manners" policy)  There are students who have been
arrested for harassment for email misuse.  It is no different than the
student threatening you in person or by snail mail.


I have no helpful ideas for you but I do have a lot of similar problems.
 Just today we had the wallpaper on one computer showing a gross porno
picture -- took 3 technicians (who happened to be in the library setting up
new computers) a good hour to get it off.  The computer next to it had a
permanent screen with bombs on it which was secured by a virus and allowed
noone to get thru to use the computer.  This on we finally had to wipe out
the hard disc and reinstall everything.  We haven't caught them yet but I
hear that they are beginning to brag to friends so it won't be long.

I would love for you to post a hit of others' ideas -- I'll bet we are not
the only ones out there with miserable little hackers around.


I have found the best way to deal with nasty students is to meet with
them one on one.  Get them talking about why they are reacting to you
that way.  I would start with something like, "Since you sent me the
e-mail which was worded the way it was, I feel we have a problem.  Since
we have to work together, let's try to be mature about this.  You seem to
have more time to learn about computers and I'm sure you could help me
and all students and contribute to the school this way."  Try to let the
student talk to you about how these feelings came about and why he/she
acts the way they do.  Don't take anything personally.  There is probably
something else going on in the student's life causing the attitude.  Of
course, sometimes there is no quick fix for this type of situation.  If
the student says you have been unfair or over restrictive in the past,
explain your situation and ask him/her to evaluate what would be the way
they would handle it.  Ask them to think of how they would structure the
class and get back to you.  Perhaps you two can discuss what's wrong with
the student's solution.

Of course, this assumes the student with engage with dialog with you.

Good luck!
***************************************
Julie Radtke, Librarian
Loyola Sacred Heart High School
320 Edith
Missoula, MT 59801
FAX 405-542-1432
lsh@montana.com
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