HUMOR: Beat the clock

[Alice Yucht <AliceInfo@AOL.COM>]

forwarded from another rapidly-aging source:

>The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were
>born in 1980.
>
>They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know
>he had ever been shot.  They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War
>was waged.  Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great
>Depression.  There has only been one Pope.  They can only really
>remember one president. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart,
>and don't remember the Cold War.  They have never feared a nuclear war.
>"The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie. CCCP is just a bunch of
>letters.  They have only known one Germany.  They are too young to
>remember the Space shuttle blowing up, and Tianenmin Square means
>nothing to them.  They do not know who Moamar Qadafi is.  Their lifetime
>has always included AIDS.  They never had a Polio shot, and
>likely, do not know what it is.
>
>Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been
>plastic  They have no idea what a pull top can looks like.  Atari
>pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums.  The expression "you sound like a
>broken record" means nothing to them.  They have never owned a record
>Player.  They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of
>Pong.  "Star Wars" looks very fake and the special effects are
>pathetic.  There have always been Red M&M's, and Blue ones are not new.
>"What do you mean there used to be beige ones?"  They may have heard of
>an 8-track, but chances are they probably have never actually seen or
>heard one.  The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.
>As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.  Zip codes
>have always had a dash in them.  They have always had an answering
>machine.  Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have
>they seen a black and white TV.  They have always had cable.  There have
>always been VCR's, but they have no idea what Beta is.  They cannot
>fathom not having a remote control.  They were born the year that
>Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
>
>Roller skating has always meant inline for them.  They have never heard
>of King Cola, Burger Chef, The Globe Democrat, Pan AM or Ozark
>Airlines.  The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.  They have no
>idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.  Popcorn has always been
>cooked in a microwave. They have never seen and remember a game that
>included the St.Louis Cardinals, the Baltimore Colts, the Minnesota
>North Stars,the Kansas City Kings, the New Orlean  Jazz, The Minnesota
>Lakers, The Atlanta Flames, or the Denver Rockies (NHL Hockey,that is).
>They do not consider the Colorado Rockies, the Florida Marlins, The
>Florida Panthers, The Ottawa Senators, the San Jose Sharks, or the Tampa
>Bay Lightning "expansion teams"  They have never seen Larry Bird or
>Kareem Abdul-Jabbar play. They never took a swim and thought about
>Jaws.  The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII or
>even the Civil War.  They have no idea that Americans were ever held
>hostage in Iran.  They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.  They
>don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
>
>They never heard the terms "Where's the beef?", "I'd Walk a mile for a
>Camel", or "de plane, de plane!". They do not care who shot J.R. and
>have no idea who J.R. is.  The Cosby Show, The Facts of Life, Silver
>Spoons, The Love Boat, Miami Vice, Different Strokes, Webster, Punky
>Brewster, WKRP in Cincinnati, and Taxi are shows they have likely never
>seen.  The Titanic was found?  I thought we always knew where it was.
>They cannot remember the Cardinals ever winning a World Series, or even
>being in one.  Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places,
>not musical groups.  McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers.
>
>Do you feel old now? Remember, the people who don't know these things
>will be in college this year !!!!!!!

Alice H. Yucht, M.L.S., B.L.P.
Heritage Middle School
Livingston, NJ
AliceInfo@aol.com

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