Thinkers Anonymous (a humorous story for all you thinkers out

["Cecilia, John, or Emily Baker" <whatever@IPA.NET>]

This summer I went to Cornerstone Festival in Illinois and heard James Sire,
senior editor for Intervarsity Press.  In one of his talks he gave this
reading and I loved it and wanted to share it with you.  It mentions the
library, so it does have relevance to this listserv and most librarians I
have met tend to be thinkers.  Hope this hasn't appeared here before:

Thinkers Anonymous

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and
soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone--"to relax," I told myself,--but I knew it wasn't
true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally, I was
thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment didn't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunch time so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What exactly is
it we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned
off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that
night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me
in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job,
you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
confessed, "I've been thinking . . ."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if
you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS
station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the
big glass doors . . . they didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering
for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy
thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line.
It come from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster, which is why I am
what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's" ["Dumb and Dumber"]. Then we share
experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed . . . easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is
pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any
excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these
things." Phil. 4:8 NRSV

  Cecilia Baker, Library Media Specialist  whatever@ipa.net (Home)
  Cord-Charlotte High School Library
  225 School Road
  Charlotte, AR  72501                 chs.ncsc.k12.ar.us (School)

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

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