HUMOR: Ten Words That Don't Exist But Should

[W & S Koontz <koontzs@HORIZON.HIT.NET>]

                  10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should:
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1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to
turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting
it back  down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy
you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will
somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering
for  one armrest in a movie theater (airplane).

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room
until  he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man guy lay' shun) n. Manhandling the
"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to
resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose
sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they
want ground pepper.

8.  PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a
dog presses its nose to it.

10.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even
when you're only six inches away.

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koontzs@horizon.hit.net  (home)
koontzs@usd286.hit.net  (school)
Sharon Koontz, K-12 LMS
U.S.D. 286
Sedan KS 67361
"Never judge a book by its movie."- J.W. Eagan
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