A new filtering device?

["Hainer, Gene" <hainer_g@CDE.STATE.CO.US>]

With all the talk of filter/no filter in libraries lately, the =
following
sounds like a perfect solution. Hope it brings relief from all that =
ails
you, net-wise, today.

--------original message---------
From the company that brought you last year's odoriferously successful
CyberSniff=AE scratch-n-sniff computer monitor, comes the last internet
monitoring device you'll ever need: the Web Device for Identification =
of
Skills mouse.  By replacing your existing mouse with the patented =
Web-DIS!
device, and installing the special UROK skill-monitoring software, your
patron browsing worries will be a thing of the past.

The Web-DIS! mouse works on a revolutionary new technology that embeds
microscopic sensors in the mouse that are specially designed to =
evaluate the
web-browsing skill level of anyone who touches it. Once touched, it
automatically routes them to internet links specifically suited to =
improve
their Web-IQ level. Plus, while monitoring their searching and learning =
the
special Web-DIS! mouse simultaneously returns pleasant mind-numbing =
impulses
designed to ensure satisfaction with each and every site encountered. =
Used
with the UROK software, it's better than a filter -- it actually makes =
your
internet users smarter, happier, and more refined.=20

Fed up with those sweaty-palmed people surreptitiously surfing for =
those
steamy sex sites in your school or library?  Now, with just a touch of =
the
Web-DIS! Mouse, each person's internet ability level will be instantly
scanned, and they will be pointed toward more cultured and rewarding =
fare,
such as "E-topia Online" or Martha Stewart's "Creating World Peace with
Leftovers" page.=20

Have students or patrons who insist on long chat sessions in those
less-than-desirable chat rooms?  Web-DIS! will monitor these =
excursions, and
send them instead to links that will restore and improve their =
thinking,
such as those stimulating discussion rooms on bridge, chess, or quantum
physics.

Even administrators will benefit, when their search for information on
trimming library budgets or staff will lead them to the enlightenment =
of ALA
/ AASL's position papers or LM_NET's universe of library experts.

So don't delay! To receive your free UROK monitoring software and =
Web-DIS!
replacement mouse, contact http://web-DIS.apr1.ha/gotcha or call
1-888-webDISQ. Register today for smarter surfing tomorrow!

________________________
Eugene Hainer=20
Colorado State Library
303.866.6730
hainer_g@cde.state.co.us

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