LM_NET: Library Media Networking
In case you needed further proof that America is doomed to stupidity
through the lowering of educational standards, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (shoplifter's special)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be, how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down.
(printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate
machinery. (gotta keep those 5-year-olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.
(I hope that's a typo...)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use
only. (another hummmmmm!!!!!!!)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(Now, I'm curious!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
(and possibly the one who wrote it)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(ahhhhhhh!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals.
(!!!!!!)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly.
(how do they know???)
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Suby Wallace, Librarian/Media Specialist
Nettleton Intermediate Center (5-6 grades)
3801 Vera
Jonesboro, AR 72401
swallace@nic.crsc.k12.ar.us 870-910-7809 fax: 870-910-7811
See our Dewey Decimal System site in the ThinkQuest, Jr., competition!
http://tqjunior.advanced.org/5002/ Visit our school web page at
http://nic.crsc.k12.ar.us/
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