Technology for Country Folks

[Rubaiyat <sva006@MAIL.CONNECT.MORE.NET>]

> Technology for Country Folk...
>
> 1.  LOG ON:  Makin a wood stove hotter.
>
> 2.  LOG OFF:  Don't add no more wood.
>
> 3.  MONITOR:  Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
>
> 4.  DOWNLOAD:  Gettin the farwood off the truk.
>
> 5.  MEGA HERTZ:  When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
>
> 6.  FLOPPY DISC:  Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much
>                   farwood.
>
> 7.  RAM:  That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
>
> 8.  HARD DRIVE:  Gettin home in the winter time.
>
> 9.  PROMPT:  Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
>
> 10. WINDOWS:  Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
>
> 11. SCREEN:  Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
>
> 12. BYTE:  Whut them dang flys do.
>
> 13. CHIP:  Munchies fer the TV.
>
> 14. MICRO CHIP:  Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
>
> 15. MODEM:  Whut cha did to the hay fields.
>
> 16. DOT MATRIX:  Old Dan Matrix's wife.
>
> 17. LAP TOP:  Whar the kitty sleeps.
>
> 18. KEYBOARD:  Whar ya hang the dang keys.
>
> 19. SOFTWARE:  Them dang plastic forks and knifs.
>
> 20. MOUSE:  Whut eats the grain in the barn.
>
> 21. MAINFRAME:  Holds up the barn roof.
>
> 22. PORT:  Fancy Flatlander wine
>
> 23. ENTER:  Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
>
> 24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY:  Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya
>     paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
>
> 25. MOUSE PAD:  That hippie talk fer the rat hole.

Curtis L. Clark
Library Media Specialist
Sherwood MD/SR. High School
P.O. Box 98
Hwy 7, Outer Rd
Creighton, MO 64739
660 499 2230
660 499 2258 (FAX)
sva006@mail.connect.more.net
http://www.sherwood.k12.mo.us/Library%20Home%20Page/mediacenter.htm

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
        When you steal from one author, it plagiarism;
        If you steal from many, it's research
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse."
"Very funny, Scotty.  Now beam down my clothes."
"Consciousness:  that annoying time between naps."
"We are Microsoft.  Resistance Is Futile.  You Will Be Assimilated."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
    All postings to LM_NET are protected under copyright law.
To quit LM_NET (or set-reset NOMAIL or DIGEST), send email to:
 listserv@listserv.syr.edu         In the message write EITHER:
 1) SIGNOFF LM_NET 2) SET LM_NET NOMAIL or 3) SET LM_NET DIGEST
 3) SET LM_NET MAIL  * Please allow for confirmation from Listserv
 For LM_NET Help & Archives see:  http://ericir.syr.edu/lm_net/
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=