Humor--Texas

[Rubaiyat <sva006@MAIL.CONNECT.MORE.NET>]

>  **** IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM MICROSOFT *******
> >
> > It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas Edition
of
> > Windows98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Texas. If
you
> > have one of the Texas Editions you may need some help understanding
the
> > commands.
> >
> > The Texas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
screen. It
> > reads 'WINDERS98' with a background picture of the Alamo
superimposed
> > on the Texas flag and it is shipped with a Leann Rimes screen saver.

> >
> > Note:
> > Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse."
> > My Computer is called "This Infernal Contraption."
> > Dialup Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys."
> > Control Panel is known as the "Dashboard."
> > Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive."
> > Floppies are "Them Little Plastic Disc Thangs."
> >
> > Other features:
> > Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder covered with a garbage
bag
> > and duct tape.
> >
> > Terminology:
> > OK = 'ats awright.
> > Cancel = heck, no.
> > Reset = aw shoot.
> > Yes = shore.
> > No = naaaaw.
> > Find = hunt ferrit.
> > Go to = over yonder.
> > Back = back yonder.
> > Help = hep.
> > Stop = ternit off.
> > Start = crank 'er up.
> > Settings = sittins.
> > Programs = stuff that does stuff.
> > Documents = stuff I done done.
> >
> > Also note:
> > Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
We
> > regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
of
> > the Texas Edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement.

Curtis L. Clark
Library Media Specialist
Sherwood MD/SR. High School
P.O. Box 98
Hwy 7, Outer Rd
Creighton, MO 64739
660 499 2230
660 499 2258 (FAX)
sva006@mail.connect.more.net

*****PLEASE CHECK OUT MY WEB SITE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK******
http://www.sherwood.k12.mo.us/Library%20Home%20Page/mediacenter.htm

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Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
        When you steal from one author, it plagiarism;
        If you steal from many, it's research
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

"EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse."
"Very funny, Scotty.  Now beam down my clothes."
"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have."
"We are Microsoft.  Resistance Is Futile.  You Will Be Assimilated."

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