HUMOR: Signs of the 90's

[DONNA WALTERS <dwalters@IMAIL.VALPO.K12.IN.US>]

     This one had me pegged. I found myself laughing and nodding my head.
     See if you identify with some of these!

     Enjoy!!


     Donna Walters
     Media Specialist
     Ben Franklin Middle School
     605 N. Campbell St.
     Valparaiso, IN  46385

     PH:  219-531-3024 x210
     Fax: 219-531-3026

     dwatlers@imail.valpo.k12.in.us



     Signs That You've Had Too Much Of The '90s:
     >
     > 1.  You try to enter your password on the microwave. >
     > 2.  You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. >
     > 3.  You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. >
     > 4.  You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you. >
     > 5.  You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America,
     but
     > you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year. >
     > 6.  You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date. >
     > 7.  Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they
     do not have e-mail addresses.
     >
     > 8.  You consider the U.S. Mail painfully slow and/or call it "snail
     mail".
     >
     > 9.  Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
     >
     > 10.  You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person. >
     > 11.  When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the
     phone
     in a business manner.
     >
     > 12.  When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a
     "9"to get an outside line.
     >
     > 13.  You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
     > different companies.
     >
     > 14.  Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro. >
     > 15.  Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. >
     > 16.  You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise. >
     > 17.  You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news. >
     > 18.  Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of
     your
     > best jokes.
     >
     > 19.  Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job. >
     > 20.  Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to
     get > long-service awards.
     >
     > 21.  Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World
     countries
     annual budgets combined.
     >
     > 22.  It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
     >
     > 23.  You know exactly how many days you've got left until you
     retire. >
     > 24.  Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or
     experience,
     > terminate the interview when told of the starting salary. >
     > 25.  You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must be a
     > visitor.
     >
     > 26.  Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet. >
     > 27.  Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with
     all
     the
     > latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours
     boots
     up.
     >
     > 28.  Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
     >
     > 29.  You're already late on the assignment you just got. >
     > 30. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your
     > department is short of, but they can afford four full-time
     management > consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
     >
     > 31.  Vacation time is something you roll over to next year. >
     > 32.  Every week another brown collection envelope comes around
     because > someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WORKED THERE is leaving.
     >
     > 33.  Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
     computers".
     >
     > 34.  The only reason you recognize your kids is because their
     pictures
     are
     > on your desk.
     >
     > 35.  You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting. >
     > AND THE CLINCHERS ARE
     > 36.  You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling. >
     > 37.  As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your
     "friends
     > you send jokes to" e-mail group.
     >
     > 38.  It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this
     list
     > already, but you don't have time to check so you forward it anyway.
     >

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