Things Kids Say (FWD)

[Dawn Sardes <Dmsardes@AOL.COM>]

I was sent these by a friend; HAD to share.

<<<<forward>>>
<< KIDS

   A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the story
of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first
pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.  She said "...And
so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said
'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?'"
    Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
    My friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know!, he
said.....'Holy
 smokes! A talking pig!'
   The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
 five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how
to treat our brothers and sisters?"
   Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown
had kissed her after class.
   "How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
   "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him."
            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
    She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
    Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then
said,"So, Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  "Just think how  nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher;
she's dead."
            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
    "Yes, sir," the boys said.
   "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
 position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"  A little fellow shouted,
    "Cause yer feet ain't empty!"
             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.  One day the
mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The
six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment.  Furthermore, he
stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
  The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has
become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
   Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
   >>

Dawn Sardes
Teen Services Libraria
Cumberland County Public Library
Fayetteville, NC 28311

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