MICROSOFT v. AUTOS - Very Funny

[Rubaiyat <sva006@MAIL.CONNECT.MORE.NET>]

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer
 industry  with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with
 technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
 dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

 In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by
 Mr. Welch himself) stating: If General Motors had developed technology
 like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following
 characteristics:

 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a
 new car.

 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.  You'd
 just calmly accept this, restart your car, and then drive on.

 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
 your car to be shut down and refuse to restart. Then, you'd have to
 reinstall
 the engine.

 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95"
 or "CarNT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

 6. Apple Computer would make a car that was solar powered, more reliable,
 five times faster and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of
 the roads.

 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be
 replaced by a single "General Car Default" warning light.

 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

 9. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before activating.

 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
 and refuse to let you back in until you simultaneously lifted  the door
 handle,
 turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
 McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary) even though
 they'd  neither want nor need them.  Attempting to delete this option
 would immediately diminish the car's performance by 50% or more. Moreover,
 GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn
 how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
 the
 same manner as before.

 13. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off your engine.

Curtis L. Clark
Library Media Specialist
Sherwood MD/SR. High School
P.O. Box 98
Hwy 7, Outer Rd
Creighton, MO 64739
660 499 2230
660 499 2258 (FAX)
sva006@mail.connect.more.net


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              "If you don't no where you are going,
                then any road will take you there"
                                [Alice in Wonderland]
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        When you steal from one author, it plagiarism;
        If you steal from many, it's research
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

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"You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication"
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"We are Microsoft.  Resistance Is Futile.  You Will Be Assimilated."

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