Humor

[Rubaiyat <sva006@MAIL.CONNECT.MORE.NET>]

Ever Wonder

  >  >
  >  >    How do crazy people go through the forest?
  >  >              They take the psycho path.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >     How do you get holy water?
  >  >          Boil the hell out of it.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
  >  >       "Dam!"
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
  >  >    Polaroids.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
  >  >        A stick.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >    What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
  >  >        Nacho Cheese.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >  What do you call Santa's helpers?
  >  >      Subordinate Clauses.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
  >  >        Quatro sinko.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What do you get from a pampered cow?
  >  >        Spoiled milk.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a
  >  >     vampire?
  >  >          Frostbite.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
  >  >     A nervous wreck.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
  >  >        Because they have big fingers
  >  >

  >  >    What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
  >  >       Sanka.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
  >  >        The location of the dirt bag.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >    Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
  >  >      Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

  >  >
  >  >    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
  >  >        Unique up on it!
  >  >   How do you catch a tame  rabbit?
  >  >        Tame way, unique up on it!
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What do you call skydiving lawyers?
  >  >        Skeet.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >   What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop clop clop?
  >  >        An Amish drive-by shooting.
  >  >
  >  >
  >  >    How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the
  >  >    same?
  >  >      Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

Curtis L. Clark
Library Media Specialist
Sherwood MD/SR. High School
P.O. Box 98
Hwy 7, Outer Rd
Creighton, MO 64739
660 499 2230
660 499 2258 (FAX)
sva006@mail.connect.more.net


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Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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        When you steal from one author, it plagiarism;
        If you steal from many, it's research
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"I Have The Body Of A God......Buddha."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?"
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"What's the definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex."
"Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!"
"Illiterate? Write For Help"
"We are Microsoft.  Resistance Is Futile.  You Will Be Assimilated."

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