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Christmas is the time of the ASH - Annual Summer Holiday - when families
cram everything they need and a lot of what they don't into the back of
their station wagons and head off for the beach or the bush.  Not that
either are great destinations this year but never let it be said that a
raging firestorm got in the way of the ASH (which has an ironic slant if you
read it on your head, which you will be because you are UpOver and we are
DownUnder).

After hours of "why are you taking THAT?" and "you don't need THAT!" they
head off looking like the Beverly Hillbillies complete with grandma perched
on top.  After years of these sorts of holidays I am now smart enough to
stay home, but I dare you to argue with the following observations  :>}

1. The anticipation is always much more fun than the actual event.
2. He who asks a zillion times if you have remembered the kitchen sink will
be he who forgets the tent pegs.
3. There is not a lot to be said for driving long distances with kids in the
back, especially if there is more than one kid and more than one gender.
4. Everyone else on the road is a fool who got their driving license in the
Weetbix packet.
5. Just as soon as you leave the house or the city limits someone will want
to go to the toilet.
6. He who forgot to fill the gas bottles for the barbecue will ask a zillion
times if you turned the gas off at home.
7. When you get where you are going you remember all the things that made it
so good to go home last year.
8. The idea of peace and quiet and relaxing with a good book has been
replaced by the yelling and squabbling of kids, often your own, dogs barking
because they are tied up all day, hoons with loud music and motorcycles and
ma and pa having a ding-dong fight in the tent next door.
9. The fish don't bite, but that's okay cos it gives you another supply of
tea-time tales of the one that got away for when you get home.
10. The flies and other creepy-crawlies that you are so well protected from
at home have free range out in the open and there's nothing like having to
check your sleeping bag and boots for unwelcome guests before you use them.
11. Someone somewhere thinks women get a lot of fun out of preparing meals
on an open fire in the middle of a total fire ban, washing dishes in a basin
smaller than the dishes and sleeping on a hard-as-rocks airbed.
12. The ASH is the best way for families to bond and to appreciate all the
little comforts of home, when they finally return, vowing to stay in a motel
next time!

Hubby has now returned from his ASH - a few days fishing in the mountain
lakes - and has described his holiday as above.  People kept asking me why I
didn't go too - perhaps I should send them this email?

Barbara

Barbara Braxton
Teacher Librarian
Palmerston District Primary School
PALMERSTON ACT 2913
AUSTRALIA

T. 02 6205 7241
F. 02 6205 7242
E. barbara@austarmetro.com.au
W. http://www.palmdps.act.edu.au

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