Humor: Play on words

[Cindy Denning <Cynden744@AOL.COM>]

I thought you might enjoy a smile with your coffee this morning.

Cindy Denning, MLS
Once and future librarian
Collinsville, TX
cynden744@aol.com

> >The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which
> >they  were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The
> >following  were some of the winning entries in this year's contest:
> >
> >1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
> >
> >2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
> >
> >3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
> >
> >4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
> >
> >5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
> >
> >6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
> >answer the door in your nightie.
> >
> >7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
> >
> >8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
> >
> >9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
> >are  run over by a steamroller.
> >
> >10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
> >
> >11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
> >
> >12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
> >proctologist immediately before he examines you.
> >
> >13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
> >expressions.
> >
> >14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
> >
> >15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul
> >goes  up on the roof and gets stuck there.
> >
> >16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-
All LM_NET postings are protected by copyright law.
To change your LM_NET status, e-mail to: listserv@listserv.syr.edu
In the message write EITHER: 1) SIGNOFF LM_NET  2) SET LM_NET NOMAIL
3) SET LM_NET MAIL  4) SET LM_NET DIGEST  * Allow for confirmation.
LM_NET Help & Information: http://ericir.syr.edu/lm_net/
Archive: http://askeric.org/Virtual/Listserv_Archives/LM_NET.shtml
LM_NET Select/EL-Announce: http://www.cuenet.com/archive/el-announce/
LM_NET Supporters: http://ericir.syr.edu/lm_net/ven.html
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-