I believe the "I hope you feel proud" instead of "Good job!" is designed to *try*
to get the praisee to turn inward for positive feedback and an "internal locus of
control" - the sense that what you do is important in the outcomes of yoru efforts,
not random or external forces.
Actually, it can work over the long haul. Many of my bright students with learning
disabilities had developed - validly - an "external locus of control." Good
grades or bad depended on outside forces, not their own efforts. In our structured
setting, we could foster making those connections: "You got a <insert the good
grade> on this test. How did you get ready for it?" "And when you read the
questions, you remembered...?" "And..." - lots of give and **take** about just
why s/he did well. I watched students gradually develop a belief that, indeed,
when something was assigned they could figure out what to do to take control of the
assignment and achieve it, as opposed to hoping that somehow things would be
structured so it would all work out. This required appropriate assignments, lots
of hand-holding *and* gradual release of one finger at a time, and a whole lot of
discussion to make sure that the student was part of what was happening and aware
of it.
I suspect that's the thinking behind substituting "You should be proud of
what you did!" for "I, as queen of all judgments, deem this excellent!" (okay, I
exaggerate... :-))
It also takes a long, long time, if you believe you aren't good at something,
for others' praise not to sound "hollow." I've watched students (and myself, in
the case of cycling) sincerely believe that people were just being nice despite all
kinds of objective evidence otherwise. It defies logic. (I'm not saying this is
the case in analyzing your artistic efforts - if you *don't* have the previously
formed and often false foundation, you're probably a better assessor than others.)
Susan Jones
Academic Development Specialist
Academic Development Center
Parkland College
Champaign, IL 61821
sujones@parkland.edu
Webmastress,
http://www.resourceroom.net
>>> Julie Dahlhauser <JulDahl@AOL.COM> 08/01/05 2:54 PM >>>
Barbara and all,
<snip>
Somewhere I remember reading that some kids become "praise junkies," usually the
littler ones who have unmet emotional needs at home. I've seen kids give extra
effort and then whine until you give them the praise they feel is due.
Until they've heard the words, "Good job," they don't think the act has
value. Or something like that. I've read that you should say, "That must make you
feel very proud." (Hoping someone else will know more about this & respond).
When I think of my own artistic or musical efforts, I don't really care
about others' praise or compliments or winning prizes-- it has to satisfy me. If
I think I fluffed a performance, I usually hear that praise as hollow. And I
certainly don't read so I can brag on how many pages I got through last
summer. I think we all agree that the things we do most passionately are not for
extrinsic rewards, not even for praise or the esteem of others. And that
includes teaching.
I'll be looking for that Kohn book now.
Julie Dahlhauser, librarian
Anderson Early Childhood Center
620 West Main Street
Brownsville, Tennessee USA 38012
JulDahl@aol.com
dahlhauserj@k12tn.net
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