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First I would like to thank everyone who responsed to my request for
help, even if you didn't agree with the fact that I was helping my
daughter prepare for this change in her life.  Just goes to show that we all
have difference of opinions when it comes to life and to me, that's
what makes the world go round !!!  To those of you who need ideas on this
topic, read on.....................

ORIGINAL REQUEST:

Soon I will be sending my daughter off to live at college.  In physical
preparation for this event, so far I have printed out on-line
checklists of items to pack, taped the lists to boxes labeled "bathroom" and
"bedroom" and started to fill the boxes.  In the next few weeks I will
help my daughter open a checking account and review how to enter and
balance her account.  I feel like I should be doing more.  Do the college
parent veterans have any advice for me ?


Learn how to use Instant Messenger, if you don't already
know how.
Be ready to send care packages during the semester. What
these consist of will depend on your daughter: gift
certificates to iTunes or amazon; favorite cookies; an
electric kettle -- it depends. Sometimes she won't know
precisely what she needs until she's there.
Good luck! You both will survive!

I was lucky-my daughter attended close.  I have a boy from church going
off
tho and I am making him a care package.  It will have a phone card,
small
visa card (or walmart card) and (we are close to the family).  Also I
am an
herbalist so I am going to make him some things like Echinacea
tincture,
skin salve...I know he journals so I am including one along with a
bunch of
pens.  If this was years ago I would have included and address book to
collect addressees, stamps, and stationary. Maybe that will give you
ideas
on things she should have????I know my stepdaughter (in college) is so
broke
a lot of the time (doesn't spend wisely) that when she gets sick she
will
not buy medicine.

I am originally from NY and have a niece and friend that move around a
lot.
They love when I send them off with a care package!

I've got three in college so I know what you're feeling!  On the
checking
account issue, here's what we do:  my kids accounts are also in my name
and
I can access the accounts on line using Internet banking.  Then I can
easily
transfer money from my checking account  into their accounts at a
moment's
notice without having to run to the bank.  The kids also have ATM/debit
cards linked to their checking accounts so they can either write
checks, use
the card as a debit card or withdraw cash from a machine.  Here's what
else
I've learned:  don't forget hangers and an extra long Internet cord.

Does your daughter have all her medical insurance information in case
she needs to go to the doctor?  A list of doctors, eye care centers,
dentists, and pharmacies that accept the insurance would save time.  Eye
infections were my daughters "surprise" emergency.  The university
clinic was not very responsive to cold symptoms, either.  If your daughter
has registered for her classes, it is always a time saver to preorder
and reserve the textbooks, too.  Otherwise the textbook may be sold out
and unavailable for awhile.
Sounds like you are very organized and I hope this helps.

Our son went off to college in 2003, and our twin daughters went last
fall. Three different colleges in two different states! ALL THREE
forgot
important things at home, so just expect that.

You mentioned opening a checking account. Regardless of where she is
going, she needs to have an account at home with your name on it as
well
as hers. That way if she needs money quickly you can deposit it there
locally, and she will have it. She should probably also have an account
at college, unless your home bank is considered local there.

Remember that it is sometimes smarter to NOT take certain things along
and plan on a Wal-Mart run as part of the moving-in process. Last year
my wife took both girls off to college (yes, the Lincoln Town Car was
stuffed!), and we deliberately planned on doing this. Saved LOTS of
room. Be sure to have your list for that.

You and your daughter should sit down and make some of your own lists,
by just thinking through a day, week, month. One of you can keep the
"Pack" list, and the other one the "Wal-Mart" list. That one should
indicate whether it is something that needs to be purchased now, or
wait
until moving-in day. Be sure to think about church/social events the
first few days. We still tease Adam about his first phone call home -
we
moved him in on Saturday, and Sunday morning he called to ask us to
send
his Sunday suit!

Be sure to think about how you will communicate while she is away. Our
kids got some calling cards. Since we have free long distance on our
cell phone, and unlimited night and weekend hours, they call on the
calling card and we call them back. For routine stuff we use email.

Be sure you have your daughter's snail mail address, so you can send
"care packages" from home.

While you are moving in, be sure to have someone help your daughter get
her computer and voice mail (if the school offers it) set up properly,
and make sure she knows how to use it! One of our daughters missed
several very important messages because she didn't know how to use the
voice mail.

Based on my experience with sending children off to college (my eldest
son
just graduated from college, moved to Washington DC and started working
and
my younger son just finished his freshmen year) my main advice to you
is
stop worrying and be flexible.  You and she will think of more things
that
need doing, but most important, you need to be available (the way she
wants
you to be) after she goes to college.  As long as she feels comfortable
calling and asking for help and advice when she wants that's what's
really
important.  You need to be flexible and prepared for things to change.
While college kids are not all grown up, they are on their way and your
relationship with them has to change.  I also starting using IM and
having
my cell phone on a lot because my kids wanted me to.

As long as you are patient, flexible and prepared to change, things
will be
fine.

I would buy her a city map or Mapsco and teach her how to use it.  If
she is taking a car, I would be sure she is familiar with routes to get
to school.  Due to traffic on Texas highways, our kids need to know
alternate routes.

Quarters, quarters, quarters!

We containerized everything we could.  Also, if she is living in a
dorm, check to see what options, if any, there are for the beds.  At
one
school, my daughter could have her bed at regular height, a little
higher
where her dresser could set under it, or bunk bed height where her desk
would fit under it.  I know some furniture is fixed in dorms.

I have two out of college (Texas Christian University 2002 and Texas
A&M 2004) now but know when we moved them, we did spend the night
knowing
we would just have to shop for something.  If you plan on helping her
move, I would book a hotel room now!  They are hard to get at the last
minute.

The extension cords with the on/off switch (can't think of the name)
with several outlets plus a couple of heavy duty extension cords is
great
to have.  We also purchased a battery back-up outlet for the computer -
good to have anywhere.

If she lives in an apartment, I would also get renter's insurance.

  It made the biggest difference for my son to have a cellphone.
Biggest difference for me AND for him!

The other thing I did that was useful was use plastic under bed storage
boxes to pack his things in.  They were useful during the year and then
available to pack up to come home

My son, in college in the US, rarely writes checks but uses his debit
card
(from our joint account) often. Good luck.

Make sure you have a bank account at the same bank and you can make
transactions into your daughter's account.
My son saved all his boxes.  It made it easier to repack everything
since he
had 4 different dorm rooms in four years.
If the dorms have kitchens, make sure the pots and pans, dishes and
silverware are marked.  My son is a vegetarian and does not like others
using
his service for meats.
Oh yes, make sure your daughter gets a digital camera and mails you
pictures
or get one of those cameras with photos.  Oh course, my son never
answered
his cell when he was with his friends.
If there is traveling involved get tickets early.  My son would always
wait
until the last minute.




Diane Lungaro, librarian
dianelu@yahoo.com
Sussex Middle School
Sussex-Wantage Regional Schools District
Sussex, NJ 07461




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