Re: [LM_NET] Need advice about angry parent

[Geneva Johnson <johnsong@OWASSO.K12.OK.US>]

If I understood your e-mail, I think I understand why it would be upsetting 
to you.  I have no way of knowing if one of my (500) students would be 
stressed out by my gentle reminder that he has an overdue book...it is 
something I do a minimum of 5 times a day.  While we are set up for student 
check-in & check-out, my circulation system is set up to make 'noises' if a 
student has reached any number of thresholds...overdue, holds, maxed 
re-newal, etc.  Anytime I hear the sound for an overdue (and I'm not 
teaching a class), I walk over, check the record and ask the student if they 
know where Owl Moon (or whatever) is. Followed with: Can you bring it back 
right now? Can you remember to bring it tomorrow? Have you looked at home? 
And in my situation, where we are completely flexible and implement Reading 
Rennaisance I might ask the same questions of the same kiddo 3 or 4 times in 
the same week. (And to answer some of the unasked questions...yes I still 
allow students to check out with an overdue.  But I do stop allowing them to 
check-out books whenever they reach $50 of overdue books or 3 books 
whichever is reached first. Even if they have 3 books overdue or a total of 
$50, they can still read books from my shelves, just not outside of the 
library.  I also run overdue notices 1x per week and put them in teacher's 
mailboxes to be sent home with school correspondence.  It does take time, 
but the end result is I can say I have been notifying parents & students all 
along the way.  They are also slipped into grade card envelopes each nine 
weeks. I also make phone calls to parents when they are warranted.)

So I can see myself being hurt if I were blind-sided with an accusation of 
'stressing' a student out because I was doing something that up until now my 
students have found helpful.  One thing I have found helpful when dealing 
with an angry parent is to just apologize for what I can and do my best to 
compromise what I can.  For example, "I'm so sorry that Timmy was upset 
about me reminding him about his overdue book. It was not my intent to 
'stress him out', but to be helpful. I understand that he is only 9 and may 
be struggling with responsibility which is why I thought he would benefit 
from a verbal reminder rather than just sending home the paper overdue 
notice.  Please understand, I do have to follow district policies regarding 
lost materials, so if the book can't be found then...insert your district 
policy. However, I do have some latitude on how to communicate his overdues. 
 In the future, how would you like me to communicate this?"

I always take the upset parent (not that I have very many), teacher, or 
patron as an opportunity to evaluate my practices.  Sometimes I find that 
there is something I can improve upon or correct a problem I wasn't aware 
of. And, sadly, sometimes I find that people are upset because I'm doing my 
job well and it's easier to blame me than accept responsibility for 
themselves or their children.

Good luck, Veronica!

Geneva Johnson, NBCT 2004
Library Media Specialist
Ator Heights Elementary
Owasso Public Schools
johnsong@owasso.k12.ok.us
 
"The limits of your language are the limits of your world."  -- Ludwig 
Wittgenstein

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