Oh the joys of this profession; they're infinite, brothers and sisters!
It's the time of year when, with annual inventory approaching, I'm
forced to make some calls to the homes of children who checked items out
back in '08 and who have been ignoring our notices and p.a. pages ever
since those items fell overdue.
It's not my idea of fun, but I try and be matter of fact and breezy
about it, and, like a booster shot to the buttocks, it's over before you
know it.
This year, though, after all these years in the biz, I finally got
totally flamed. When I mentioned the matter of her son's missing
paperback, this hellcat of a parent launched into a diatribe so
venomously spiteful that the locks of my hair that hang closest to my
right telephone ear were singed.
"Trust me, you don't want me coming over there, 'cause, believe me,
Buddy, you'd be sorry if I did!" she barked in a two-pack-a-day voice.
It was a brilliant performance.
It was so pugnaciously, profanely powerful, in fact, that I simply
couldn't rise to the soaring heights of drama that a conversation with
this Diva of Damnation would have required. By the time she finally spat
out her last razor-wire line of expletives, I was utterly stupified.
"Alrighty, then," I finally said, and hung up the phone.
School librarianship: what a wild and wonderful work life!
Jeff Hastings,
SLMS, "Howl" MI
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