HUMOR: Technology

[Julie Walker <jawalker@TENET.EDU>]

One of our librarians forwarded this to me.  I really thought it was
funny until I started recognizing myself in some of them!

Julie A. Walker                         District Media Center
Director, Library & Media Services      13401 Pond Springs Rd.
Round Rock ISD                          Austin, TX  78729
jawalker@tenet.edu                      512-331-6697/512-331-1811 (FAX)


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 11 Mar 95 19:12:00 C
From: Jim LaMarre (AUS) <JimL@mail.wayne.com>
To: Kimberly L LaMarre <lamarre@tenet.edu>
Subject: FW: Naw... not anybody around here (fwd)



 ----------
From: Geeta Nadkarni (AUS)
To: Debbie Wilkins (AUS); Gary Gibson (AUS); Jean McWeeney (AUS); Jill
Pendleton (AUS); Jim LaMarre; Kevin Ayers; Michelle Eddie (AUS); Reynold
Liao (AUS); Rodney Markert (AUS); Steve Hendricks; Vikram Bhavsar (AUS);
'david suggs'; trey
Subject: FW: Naw...  not anybody around here (fwd)
Date: Wednesday, January 18, 1995 8:46AM


 ----------
>
>  30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life:
>
>  1.  Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address
>  book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two
>  on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the
>  breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back.  In essence, you
>  have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is*
letterhead.
>
>  2.  You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least
>  one device on your body beep or buzz.
>
>  3.  You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't
>  because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with
>  laser printers.
>
>  4.  You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you
>  forget to send your father a birthday card.
>
>  5.  You disdain people who use low baud rates.
>
>  6.  When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson
>  talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the
>  next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the
>  salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
>
>  7.  You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without
>  thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
>
>  8.  You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say
>  the phrase "digital compression."  Everyone understands what you mean,
>  and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain
it.
>
>  9.  You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your
>  own social security number.
>
>  10.  You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number,"
>  since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged
>  into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
>
>  11.  You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
>
>  12.  Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke
>  symbols that are far more clever than :-).
>
>  13.  You back up your data every day.
>
>  14.  Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store
>  and you return with a rest for your mouse.
>
>  15.  You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
>
>  16.  On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the
>  pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
>
>  17.  The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely
>  enters your mind.
>
>  18.  You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase
>  "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information
>  superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses
>  hand-drawn pie charts.
>
>  19.  You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the
>  exhibit hall in advance.  But you cannot give someone directions to
>  your house without looking up the street names.
>
>  20.  You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
>
>  21.  You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you
>  something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand
>  that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more
>  information about the product it is selling.
>
>  22.  You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-
>  quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes.
>
>  23.  Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.
>
>  24.  You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know
>  where they are.
>
>  25.  While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia
>  surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a
>  nine-year-old.
>
>  26.  You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure
>  enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology
>  question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
>
>  27.  You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
>  tires.
>
>  28.  You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
>  own turns bread into charcoal.
>
>  29.  You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different
>  opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track *pad*.
>
>  30.  You understand all the jokes in this message.  If so, my friend,
>  technology has taken over your life.  We suggest, for your own good,
>  that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku.  And don't use a laptop.
>
>  =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>
>  31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never
>  get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the
>  phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people
>  face-to-face.
>
>
>