Humor: Cat Lovers, Be Warned

[Dawn Sardes <Dmsardes@AOL.COM>]

Greetings All,

My son sent me this (origin unknown), and being a cat lover, I HAD to share.



          What goes through a cat's mind?
Monday - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal.  The only thing that
keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
satisfaction from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Tuesday - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
I once again induced myself to throw up on their favorite
chair...must try this on their bed.

Wednesday - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors
with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly
hours of the night.

Thursday - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan......

Friday - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time
however it included a burning foamy chemical called
"shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid.
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
between my teeth.

Saturday - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices.  I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of
the glass tubes they call "beer."
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how
to use it to my advantage.

Sunday - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems
more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The Bird, on the other hand. has got to be an informant. He
has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to
molespeak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only
a matter of time.

Dawn Sardes
Teen Services Librarian I
Cumberland County Public Library
North Regional Branch
Fayetteville, NC 28311

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