Re: Comebacks, witty responses, confession & announcement

[Dawn Sardes <Dmsardes@AOL.COM>]

Upon graduation, a friend presented me with a tee-shirt that said
Professional Shusher.  I wear it with pride.  I figure if the lawyers can
take all the nasty jokes about them, then I can show a sense of humor too.

But to the question at hand. You could take the person's statement seriously
and bore him to tears by discoursing at length about it.  For example, the
glasses statement:

"Did you know that it's a medical fact that people who read more tend to have
better vision because reading strengthens the eye muscles and fine tunes the
optic nerves?  As a matter of fact, statistics show that only 3% of voracious
readers, those who are identified as reading at least one book a week, need
corrective lenses compared to over 30% of the general population."

Go on and on and on until the person hangs himself out of sheer boredom.
Make it up as you go along.

Now, I'm just making those facts and stats up folks.  But I have this
contrary nature that loves to dupe people into believing absurdly false but
plausible things.  I do NOT do this in my library, but only with friends and
relatives.  The problem is that they never know when I'm BS'ing them.

For example, at a party once, I convinced someone that the Japanese World War
2 General Chi Chi Nagumo went on to open the chain of Chi Chi's Mexican
Restaurants after the war.   I also told my son that Speaker of the House Tip
O'Neill was actor Ryan O'Neal's father.    I don't plan these lies; they just
come to me in the moment.  But I have had people ask me to "get" someone as a
party joke.  I (almost) always come clean before the end of the evening.

BTW, Last Saturday, someone abandoned a tiny orange kitten in the parking lot
of my library, so Mr. Sparky & Ms. Vixen have a new housemate.  I've named
her Lady Marmalade.

Dawn Sardes
YA Librarian
Euclid Public Library
Euclid OH
dmsardes@aol.com

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