HUMOR : You Know You're From Missouri If...

[Rubaiyat <cclark@PHILL.K12.MO.US>]

Subject: You Know You're From Missouri If...


You gotta love it!


This is hilarious. All Missourian's will appreciate this. If you are not
from Missouri, maybe you will understand it better. Have a great day.

You Know You're from Missouri If:


1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float trip"
3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six
        Flags.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles.
6. Down south to you means Arkansas.
7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
8. You know several people who have hit a deer.
9. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11. You know what "party cove" is.
12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
13. You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did
        you go to?"
14. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
15. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it
        no matter what time of the year.
19. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football (I
DON'T THINK SO).
20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
        Example: "Where's my coat at?"
21. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
or grain.
22. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and jell-o
salad with      marshmallows.
24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else
25. You went to skating parties as a kid.
26. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
27. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
29. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page
but requires
        6 pages for sports.
30. You think I-44 is spelled "farty-far." (St. Louis Only)
31. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
32. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
33. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia and
Columbia is halfway     between St. Louis and Kansas City. And, the Warrenton
outlet mall is halfway between  Columbia and St. Louis.
34. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the
middle of the summer    during a thunderstorm
35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
36. You've ever said, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity."
37. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and
Construction.
38. You know if another Missourian is from the bootheel, ozarks,
        eastern, middle or western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
39. You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all
        from Missouri.
40. You failed world geography in school because you thought Cuba,
Versailles, California,         Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana,Springfield, and
Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And    they are!)
41. You think a traffic Jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
42. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Missouri
friends!! :)
43. You know what "HOME OF THE THROWN ROLL' means!!!
            Hoorah for Lamberts.

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