[LM_NET] Hit: Top ten reasons to be a retired library aide

[Linda Lucke <llucke@D70SCHOOLS.ORG>]

Here is a list of all the suggestions I got for "Reasons".  I have  
selected my top ten, and turned it into a plaque to be presented to  
our aide.  Those who are interested may want to choose different  
options, but here are all the suggestions I gathered.
Linda Lucke

Top Ten Reasons to Be a Retired Library Aide

  You can go to the bathroom anytime you want.

    You can shop from QVC  all day and night.

    Life no longer revolves around 55 minute blocks of time

    At lunch time you can chew AND swallow your food.

    You can take Xanax off your shopping list.

     You can buy wine at HEB and not have to hide it in the shopping

cart.

     You*re free to appear on the Jerry Springer Show.

     No more working through a hangover on Mondays.

     Duty now means what your dog does in the neighbor*s yard.

     When you pick up a book, you don*t have to SHELVE it!

  You can retire the magnifying glasses because you don't have to  
stare at spine

labels anymore.

You can eat a birthday cupcake without wondering who else has touched  
it.

The public library is always looking for well trained volunteers.
  You will be the best read grandmother on the block.

Now that their are cruise ship librarians.....need I say more?

Knees of your pants and toes of your shoes won't be worn out from
crawling around on the floor shelving books.

You wake up in the morning and actually have a good idea of what you  
will be doing for the day.

You can wear something ALL DAY that won't allow you to kneel on the  
floor or stand on a chair!

The FANTASTIC retirement benefits, of course...and those group tours  
to Walmart!

Smiling when you think about the "new" library aide that will be  
called by your name for the next 10 years.

Taking off on the Friday before Christmas...without asking ANYONE.

Not having to worry about a halloween costume...ever again!

The only passes you have to worry about are those from the bookmobile  
driver.

The only inventory you think about is the "inventory reduction sale"  
at Cosco

You can spend time browsing all those recipes in cookbooks that you  
have at home...and the cookbooks are in the kitchen, shelved in dewey  
order of course.

#1 reason:  You can now volunteer to work in the local school library


How about being able to count sheep at night instead of picture books.

Discovering that there are more uses for tape than repairing a book  
(or torn pages).

Do not ask for whom the scanner beeps, it no longer beeps for thee.

Linda Lucke
Butterfield Learning Center
Butterfield Elementary School
Libertyville, IL
llucke@d70schools.org




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