Humor: SMURFWATCHER now available!

["McKenzie, Jamie" <jmckenzie@MSMAIL.BHAM.WEDNET.EDU>]

For any adults charged with protecting students
from World Wide Web sites and Internet sites which
might introduce them to the insidious influence of SMURF
culture, BIGBROTH-BIGSIS, Inc. announces with
pride a brand new software product which will isolate
your students fromany sites which contain any mention of
SMURFs.  SMURFWATCHER is 97.2% effective so far,
although Version 3.2oA, soon to be released,
approaches 99.7% effectiveness, keeping virtually
all schools SMURF-FREE.
There is no such thing as SAFE SMURF.
Just say "NO!"

The nice thing about SMURFWATCHER is
that a panel of experts have
done all of the thinking and selecting
and deciding for you.  We have encrypted
our selection codes so that they are secure
from peeping, lurking SMURF offenders.

If you have any question about the threat
to our children from these blue
creatures, check out some of the following
sites which are easily identified
by conducting a WEBCRAWLER search:

Aspects of Smurfs (Harvard/Radcliffe)
http://www.fierce.net:80/Noteables/smurfs.html

Entertainment
http://www.umich.edu/~starchld/smurf.html


DMW Silicon Showcase
    Welcome to the all-new DMW Silicon Showcase! .
[Modified for Netscape viewing] .
    This is the world premiere site for all the
exciting and new things that can be found
    at DMW Incorporated. From checking out
the fantastic "Smurf Home ...
    --- [700] http://devserve.cebaf.gov/~wether/ (2K)


WHAT's NEXT?
By January, 1996, we hope to introduce,
BOOKWATCH, a software product
which will help you eliminate all books
containing certain words from consideration
for purchase by your school library.
BOOKWATCH will scan and sanitize
all requisitions and purchase orders, knowing
which books should be cleansed from the list.
ADVANCED BOOKWATCH has a "MOM&DAD
KNOW BEST" feature which will auto-suggest
replacement titles.

THE PRICE?

 -------------------------------------------------
Wasn't that a play by Arthur Miller?
Isn't that the real question here?
 -------------------------------------------------
Was it Thomas Jefferson who once said,
"The price of liberty is eternal vigilance."

This parody was crafted by Jamie McKenzie
mckenzie@pacificrim.net