Humor: quick grin

["T. K. Cassidy" <tkc@KUENTOS.GUAM.NET>]

 "Words Not Yet in the Dictionary"
 ---------------------------------

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the
bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking
fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from
(a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture
and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of
running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen  times, reaching
over and picking it up, examining it, then  putting it back down to give
the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped
on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will  `remove' all the
germs.

ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in
the rearview mirror.

EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the
movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more
you press an elevator button the faster the elevator will arrive.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the
dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he  finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here"
spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to  the `illegal'
side.

NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come
to life.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground
pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and
forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses
its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting
the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when  you're only
six inches away.

Our greatest problems are not our mistakes but our inability and or
unwillingness to learn from them.
                                 -N.K Asare

Slainte! Guam is 15 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time --
Living' in the future -- ain't Life grand!

T. K. Cassidy - Children's Librarian /// Guam Public Library
                             Resident Writer and Storyteller ///
tkc@kuentos.guam.net