HUMOR: New Survivor show

[Johanna Halbeisen <johanna@MASSED.NET>]

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped on an island
with a copy of the district's curriculum and 28 kids each, for 6 weeks. Each
class has five learning-disabled children, three with ADHD, one gifted child,
and two who speak limited English. Three are labeled as severe behavior
problems.

There is no access to vendors who want to take them to lunch at
Bellagio.

Each business person must complete lesson plans, modify accordingly,
teach the kids, handle misconduct, implement boys' town training, write
referrals, correct homework, compute grades, export grades, input grades
one at a time on the district's computer because grades didn't export,
communicate with parents, have conferences with parents, and provide
a stimulating environment at all times. The business people only have
access to the golf course on the weekends when all teaching tasks are
done. There is only one golf course (and they can't afford it anyway on
their new salary).

The business people must continually advance their education on their
own time, which they must pay for themselves either by moonlighting
at a second job or marrying someone with a lot of money.

They must attend workshops; drill the classes for fires and shooting attacks,
tutor those that are behind in the race, keep records on all, not let it show
when they're having a bad day, incorporate read'n, write'n and rithmatic
every day, and get their two non-English speaking children proficient enough
to take the Terra Nova test. The kids and parents vote them off based on
performance. The winner gets to go back to his corporate job.

(author unknown)

---------------------
Johanna Halbeisen, Teacher Librarian
Woodland Elementary School (preK-4)
80 Powder Mill Rd.
Southwick, MA 01077
johanna@massed.net

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