Colleagues,
I'm fully aware that this promises to be the perhaps dumbest post I've
ever tossed out there, but the problem behind it-- though it may seem
but a trifle-- is actually quite real.
Plus it's Friday, I'm in a good mood, and if people think I'm silly,
well I just plain don't care.
So, the deal is: I had a full time secretary here until a couple years
ago but when the district chose to chop her position in half, she chose,
in turn, to retire a decade or so early.
I'm ashamed to admit this, but I probably underappreciated her talents.
I say that 'cause only now, in the vacuum of her absence, do I fully
appreciate the fact that I'd been working alongside the absolute Queen
of Adhesives. I mean that woman could make anything stick; she could
stick oil on the backside of vinegar. Had she been the one who stuck the
heat resistant tiles on the space shuttles over the years, who knows, it
might have saved some lives.
Back when she was working with me though, adhesion was something I took
completely for granted. No, worse than that: as long as I'm confessing,
I may as well tell you the whole truth: Back then, I thought her Demco
supply orders were...excessive. I'd look at her massive adhesive arsenal
and privately wonder how the hell she could possibly need that much
sticky stuff. I mean she had three of every kind of glue, paste and tape
known to mankind.
This is bad: I even imagined that perhaps she was one of those types who
had suffered traumatic childhood deprivation during the Great Depression
and was now compensating for that. I envisioned her home replete with
drawers and cabinets bursting-full of useless tin foil bits, wretched
twist ties, and dingy rubber-band balls.
Eventually, I did the math and figured out that an American woman in her
forties probably could not have been subjected to such a Spartan
upbringing.
Anyway, my point--there is one, and I will get there, I promise--is that
I am now forced to admit to myself that perhaps she was justified in
stockpiling all that stuff. It's clean now that she was an
underappreciated adhesive artiste--a Glue Guru, a Tape Titan!--and all
those rolls and sticks and irons and tacky concoctions were just the
necessary lab kit for her special brand of adhesive alchemy.
The thing is, now that she's gone, so is all the stickiness. Pardon me
for being so blunt but we just plain suck at sticking. We really do. My
new secretary--she handles materials processing-- is brilliant and
talented in so many ways, but even after a couple years of tape
training..well it's just not the same.
In particular: Spine labels. You know how they're typically covered with
some kind of tape to help them adhere? Well: I am looking at the 2006
Current Biography Yearbook cumulation right now. It just came in. And
the tape on the spine is peeling already! It hasn't even hit the shelf
yet!
It also has the standard reference DO NOT REMOVE FROM LIBRARY sticker on
it. Peeling! Ends curling up! It's driving me crazy!
Basically you can easily tell what materials we've acquired in the last
couple of years. Just look for the stuff with the labels hanging off.
Also: I've noticed that the tape my current secretary uses seems dull
and lifeless right from the get go. Like generic wax paper or something.
It's all frosty and bubbly looking. The stuff the Adhesive Queen use to
use was glassine, liquid-looking stuff that looked like it had been
poured on. When she covered a label with adhesive it didn't just STICK
to the cover--it BECAME ONE with it.
So I really need your help; I want the stickiness back in my library.
What do I need to do?
What do you think her secret was? Exactly what kind of tape do YOU use
to make labels stick forever? How do you apply said tape to insure best
adhesion? Is the best solution perhaps not tape-based at all? Is Kevlar
somehow involved? (I've always thought it'd be wicked cool to tell my
friends my job 'involved Kevlar') Is a 'burnishing tool' or 'bone
folder' applied at any point?
I really want to know! I thirst for adhesive knowledge!
I'm serious about this, too. If you want, I can even e-mail you photos
comparing the old adhesives--still pristine as the day the were slapped
on--and the new ones--sad and peeling like a four day Daytona vacation.
Tell me what you know, and, together, we'll make it stick.
Gratefully,
Jeffrey Hastings,
School Library Media Specialist
Highlander Way Middle School,
Howell, Michigan 48843
hastingj@howellschools.com
http://www.idiotica.com/cranium/librarysite/content/library.html
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